Lara Kimmerer | photographer

Featured | Snippet & Ink | Bethany & Eric

What a fun way to wake up on this Saturday morning!  Beth & Eric's wedding is featured on Snippet & Ink today.  Thank you, Kathryn!

 

Reflecting on the small moments

The weather outside in Boston today reflects my mood inside.  I'm feeling like I want to curl up under a blanket with a cup of tea, be cozy, and reflect.  I have now lived five years without my mom.  Five years without her guidance.  Five years not hearing her voice cheer me on.  Five years without her by my side through life's many ups and downs. 

Peter and I give a toast at every meal we have together.  We trade off most nights, but sometimes we both say a toast...it depends.  Last night, before our wonderful Zaftigs comfort food meal, which was surprised delivered to us by our wonderful friends, Peter gave a toast to me - "to kicking ass these last 5 years."

I woke up this morning, and like I have every February 25th for the last few years, I look back on what I was doing this time of day - on that day.  And then I thought about Peter's toast to me the night before.  If someone had asked me before she died how I would be if she did, I would have said something about not being able to go on without her.  She was a part of my everyday.  How do you exist without a person that you are that close to...that much a part of?  I'm not quite sure how I've done it, but here I am....stronger in mind and spirit than I've ever been.  She had a huge hand in giving me the determination to succeed in life - especially in her death.

I was asked recently if I get sad when photographing weddings, seeing the brides with their moms.  And in complete, complete honesty - No.  That bride isn't me.  That mom isn't my mom.  The relationship they have is unique to them.  What I do think my mom's passing has given me though, is a heightened sense of the small moments that happen everyday, but especially at weddings.  

As photographers, our job is to see these moments and grab them before they pass.  These moments are fleeting, and often will be overlooked or forgotten...if it weren't for a photograph.  I was a photographer before my mom died, but in the last few years I feel like I've really begun to see a style emerging from my photographs.  I see emotion.  I see warmth.  And, this may be simple, but I see love.

These are just a few images that made me pause in my editing.  Very often I sit at my desk with tears in my eyes...tears of joy, tears of sadness...re-witnessing a moment in people's lives, which I was incredibly honored to witness in person, and lucky enough to see it again, but this time really be able to reflect on what I captured.  Some of these I've posted before, others I will be posting soon.

Kelly looked in the mirror just briefly before heading out the door.  Her expression says so much to me.

 

There is so much joy, and excitement, and bit of nervous energy being expressed in the bridesmaid's face.  I feel like you don't need to see the rest of the getting ready images...this one image gives the entire feeling of that morning.

 

A brother seeing his older sister actually get married.  

 

This image is so peaceful and to me, sets the tone for their entire ceremony.

 

This is one of my favorite images that I've ever taken.  If you'd like, you can read more about it here.

 

I don't know what if feels like to see your daughter get married, or to see your other daughter give a speech at her wedding, but this image makes me feel pride, and love, and something that's a little bittersweet - and maybe that's a fraction of the way it actually feels.

 

Hands tell so much of a story. 

 

I love this moment too...laughter is just as strong as tears.

 

My favorite part of this photograph is the mom and son in the background.  She has her arm on his arm...and I, of course, couldn't help but think about the fact that one day she'll be dancing with him at his wedding.

 

And, we'll end on this beautiful image of Sarah dancing with her four (four!) daughters at Aynsley's wedding.  A beautiful moment...and a beautiful woman.

*****

I am so lucky to live the life I live.  Thank you to all my clients (turned friends) for allowing me to be a part of your life story.  I am truly, truly grateful to know you all.

 

....And thank you to my mom, for loving me more than I will ever know...and for supporting me in this dream of mine to be a photographer.  I wish you could see how successful that dream has become.

 

Modernist Home | Metro Boston Architectural Photographer

In the last few years I've been lucky enough to photograph some really interesting homes in the Boston area.  For most of my life I've envisioned myself living in a quaint farmhouse...you know, wrap-around porch, dormers, old and historic.  I still feel a draw towards those homes, but lately my eye has been wandering.  Being able to see inside so many homes - and many of them very unique - have made me question my home aesthetic.  We'll see what the future holds for Peter and me, but for now I can dream about all of the possibilities that are out there.

Here is a house I photographed very recently.  It's located in Lexington in the Five Fields district.  You can read much more about this house - and about modernist houses in the Boston area on the Modernism in Massachusetts site.  The listing brokers are Bill Janovitz and John Tse.  Take a look.  If you are the one to buy the home, I'd love to be invited over for a glass of wine and a seat by the fire.

The Build Up | my dress

This post is long.  This post is also sad at times.  But, the thing is, life is absolutely sad...sometimes...even when everything happening around you seems to be happy and good, sadness can be there under it all.  I think, maybe, sadness exists to keep us in balance and to remind us of what is important.  We only get this one shot...and I'm realizing more and more how short it will be.  I want to take it all in...all of it...even the sad moments.

*****

I must admit that wedding planning can be overwhelming at times.  Sometimes it's very fun...searching out ideas - and thinking of ways to put our own twist on them.  We're 8 months away - and that seems like a long time, but then I remember how busy I get photographing weddings and I realize how much planning I should be doing now instead of later.  Little by little we're coming up with ideas - and some of them I'm very excited about! 

One of the questions I was asked a lot as soon as we were engaged - and I know all the brides-to-be out there (and those of you who have already gotten married) have probably experienced this too - was about 'the dress'.  Have I thought about what shape?  Straps or strapless?  Long, short, or tea-length?  The answer to all of those was pretty much, "no...not at all."  I always figured I would get married one day, but I've never really thought about it very much.  I've always known the 'feeling' that I hope the day will have, and I was 90% sure of where I wanted it to take place, but that's about it.

Wedding dress shopping seemed like a chore that needed to be checked off the wedding to do list.  My mom not being around to experience dress shopping with me is the main reason I feel this way.  I have had a lot of people tell me to call them if I need help, but that isn't as easy as it may seem.  I need help with everything - and I'm not even sure what task I would give each person at this point.  Really, what it comes down to is...I miss my mom, terribly.  One of the first thoughts I had after she died was, "she won't be here when I get married."  And now, here I am, in the midst of her not being here.  In just a couple of weeks she will be gone five years.  My life has changed in so many ways...I've changed in so many ways...five years really does seem to have passed, but in the same moment it can seem as if she were just here.  Planning my wedding without her around has most definitely been difficult so far, and I know it will probably continue to be, but that's okay.  This is just another step in my grieving - and grief, I truly believe this, is something that you do forever.  The process is constantly evolving and doesn't have a straight line from Really Bad to Okay.  Some days are amazing and others are awful - and some are a mix of everything.  I'm grateful to experience them all.

So, like I said, I've had a number of people tell me to call them if I need help, but it's the friends who check in every now and then, the ones who give me a friendly nudge that have helped in getting me on the ball...especially where 'the dress' is concerned.  First, I should say, my wonderful girls in New Jersey would have loved to help with dress shopping, I know this, but distance can be annoying that way, so my lovely and wonderful Massachusetts friends have done a fabulous job of taking care of me when I've needed some help.

Begining in the fall my friend Cathy asked me about once a week, "when are we going dress shopping?"  Cathy started out as my boss.  She hired me as a photo assistant about four years ago and our relationship has evolved into a wonderful and cherished friendship of mine.  Because of my lack of dress shopping enthusiasm, setting a date to go kept getting put off.

Around the same time my good friend Janelle was asking me about dress shopping as well.  Janelle and I have been friends now for about 4.5 years.  We met in a group for woman who have all lost their mothers...most of us in our 20s and 30s.  Needless to say, she knew exactly why I was hesitating.  Once I gave her the okay she snapped into action and made a dress shopping day experience that I will never forget.  The day began with breakfast and a mimosa at Zaftigs.  Next stop was to the Clinique counter at Lord & Taylor to have my make-up done for the day of dresses.  Our first appointment was at Vera Wang.   I should say, I knew I most likely wouldn't be finding my dress in the salons.  I was content to find a sample dress somewhere.  The day was more about figuring out what styles I liked and didn't like - and actually trying on dresses.

All of the dresses at Vera were beautiful, of course, but nothing really hit me.  I didn't have a tear filled moment...Janelle may have though.  I left there feeling like I had a fun time, but not feeling like I found a dress...or even a style that I loved.

I found a few dresses online that I'm pretty positive I tried on:

These can be seen on marthastewartweddings.com right here.

Next we had a quick bite to eat at Stephanie's on Newbury - and then we were off to Priscilla of Boston for our appointment.  Our friend Teresina (also from our group) joined us.  The dresses that I started out trying on weren't hitting me at all.  After a few I began to feel completely overwhelmed and probably a bit dress-fatigued.  Again, they were pretty, but nothing was really getting me.  I figured that one day I would find a dress that I really, really liked, but not one that I loved - and I was quite fine with that thought.  

Again, a few dresses I found online that I'm pretty positive I tried:

These can be seen on the Priscilla site here.

The thing was though, that as we walked into the store there was a dress that had hit my eye.  At Vera we were asked to go around and choose dresses to try on.  At Priscilla they like to find the dresses for you.  As our appointment was winding down I told them that I had seen a dress that I would like to try.  They put the dress on me and I walked to the large mirror in the store - I looked at myself - and began to cry.  I felt the tears fill my eyes and then I felt the deep, deep sadness that was behind it all.  I was crying because out of all 22 dresses that I tried on that day...this was the only dress I wanted my mom to see me in...the only one.  I quickly squelched the tears (even though I do love to cry sometimes) - this wasn't the time to access all of those thoughts and feelings.  One thing was for sure though...this was my dress.  I couldn't imagine myself wearing any other dress when I marry Peter.

This story could go on and on...really.  There was a lot of back and forth - do I spend the money on the dress? - do I look for another one?  In fact, I tried to look for another one (something they say never to do)...Cathy came shopping with me, and so did Lacy, Kelsie and Nora, but in the end I did get 'my' dress...and I'm incredibly excited to wear it over 200 days from now!!!

 

So, for those of you who have been wedding dress shopping, what was your dress experience?  Did you have a moment with your dress where you knew this was the one?

 

Kate & Sean | married | part two

And now for part two.  If you missed part one, please go and check it out.

Kate & Sean are so incredibly fun to be around.  I've only seen them for happy occasions of course, but they always seem to be smiling and laughing.  They truly enjoy life...no matter what it may throw at them.  I could easily see where they both acquired their outlook on life...their families seemed to be the same.  A good portion of their guests were family members who all graced the dance floor at some point in the evening - and who all wore smiles the entire night.

Kate danced with her Dad - and had another dance with her Stepfather.  Both were wonderful...and a bit emotional.

Sean's dance with his mother was beautiful and sweet...and the tears continued to flow.

But nothing topped Kate's dance with her Grandfather.  He is quite spry and moved her around the dance floor.  This moment brought the house down though...tears were everywhere.  I do love moments like these.

And then the dancing really got started...

Kate & Sean...Thank you so much for choosing me (& Peter) to photograph your wedding.  We truly have enjoyed getting to know you both.  Just looking at the photo above makes me beam with happiness remembering what an incredible day you had.