Lara Kimmerer | photographer

Design Your Own Shapes

You're like a snow flake, Lara.

No one can ever be like you.

Design your own shapes & mold

them into a beautiful life.

- Virginia Schultz (mama)

 

My father gave me one of the best gifts last week. He had framed a note he found in my mother's dresser. It was written by her mother, my mama. I don't know when she wrote it, but I love that it has managed to stay intact and in our lives - long enough for it to be given to me now - just when I needed to read the words she wrote for me.

Mama died when I was 9 years old, though I do remember her quite well. I remember how much she loved me - unconditionally and with her whole being. She took me on a few trips - just the two of us - to small inns in New England. (The inn in White Christmas reminds me of one in particular.) More than once she mentioned, as we would be playing a game - or with my dolls - or make believe, that she wished we were born in the same time because she thought we would have been the best of friends.

Being so young, I couldn't realize all the wisdom she held - all the perspective she had within her. I'm still young, but being a grown woman now, I wish (with all my being) that I could talk to her and listen to her wisdom from my perspective now. How much have I missed?

I come from a very small family. My mother had no siblings. My father only has one sister. When I was 9 I lost my mom's mom. When I was 12 I lost my dad's mom. When I was 26 I lost my mom. I long for their voices and their life's lessons to be passed on to me. Men are wonderful, I have quite a few in my life that I love and respect, but a woman's voice is what I often wish to hear. My aunt and I have grown closer over the last year, which I'm grateful for. And I have my mom's cousin who I'm so glad to know. She's the last link to my mom's family really.

I think I'm missing the older generation's stories and traditions. But what I really wish is for them to see me today. I want them to see the woman who I have become - in part because of them being in my life when I was young. I wish for my mama to see me now - beginning to design my own shapes and molding them into a beautiful life.

 

My mama - circa early 1940s

Me - May 2008

Right Now is Life

A friend of mine sent an email with two links. One was about 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself - and the other was 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself. I'm definitely guilty of doing some of the things on the first list, but I'm also pretty good about turning those things around...such as the suggestions on the second list.

The one that stood out for me today is this one:

Start noticing and living in the present. 

Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

We went to my Aunt's house for Christmas dinner. It was so wonderful to be with family - to be around people this year. As we drove to her home the sky kept getting better and better...a few moments to be appreciative for the beauty the world holds.

I'm excited for what 2012 holds for me, for my business, for Peter, for the two of us together, for my brother, for everyone. But, right now is life. I'm going to take in these moments while they're here.

 

Knitting and how it reminds me of Emmet Otter

Okay. I'm going to be completely honest here...I'm not really into the Christmas season. I used to be very into it...a little too much, some might say. The past few years have been tough to get through, but this one hasn't been difficult at all really (at least as of yet). In truth, I haven't really been noticing what time of year it is very much. We've watched some Christmas movies, music has played in my car and in our home, we cut down a tree, there's a wreath on our door (inside, so we can smell the wonderful pine scent) - all of this and still there's a void where the feeling of the season used to be.

With this lack of interest this year, I've had a difficult time finding gifts for people. Earlier this week I decided that I would try my hand at knitting again. I've successfully knitted wrist-warmers and scarves, but that was about 4 years ago.

I learned to knit from my friend's Grandmother. We visited her one afternoon, fixed her a cocktail, and had her teach us. She hadn't knitted in 10+ years herself, so there was a bit of learning curve for her as well. Luckily I've retained a lot of what I learned from her that day (over 6 years ago) and I'm in the process of knitting a gift for someone. And it's turning out quite good, if I do say so.

Whenever I knit I find myself thinking of Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas by Jim Henson. There's a scene where one of the muppets is knitting. Her hands (paws, really) are just moving back and forth, and sometimes that's all it feels like I'm doing. That is until I start to see something taking shape. "I did that!" That's what I kept saying to Peter last night.

Here is a scene from Emmet Otter - one of my very favorite Christmas movies.

 

Monday Morning Music | 'Tis the Season

It's finally cold outside. I know this for certain because I ran a 5k in below freezing weather yesterday. Somehow my brother talked me into it - and for the second time no less. I think I might like running in the cold though. Not as an everyday thing, but there is something invigorating about it - and it kept me going. Having not run in two months, I didn't finish with my best time, but I did mangage to run the entire 3.1 miles, which I believe is a first for me.

This being the last Monday of the Christmas season, I've decided to hit you with a double dose of one of my favorite holiday songs - though it could just be a winter song, but it just doesn't feel the same when you play it in February.

"Winter Wonderland" has always been in my top 3 favorite songs of the season. I couldn't decide which version I wanted you to hear, so first is James Taylor and second choice is The Andrew Sisters.

I'll be checking in here as the year winds down. Be sure to stop by. And don't forget about our Love First giveaway - going on until January 1st.

 

Winter Wonderland | James Taylor

 

Winter Wonderland | The Andrews Sisters

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

 

Featured | Style Me Pretty & Pretty Little Weddings

Amy & Eddie's beautiful backyard Maine wedding was featured on Style Me Pretty Massachusetts last week. And I haven't yet shared the feature on Pretty Little Weddings of Kelsie & Doug's Movie Theatre engagement shoot.

It brings me joy to see the love and hard work of my friends being shared!

 

Thank you to Abby from SMP, and Jillian from PLW for sharing these!